We are concerned...

I should be up to my elbows in raw chicken parts right now, but instead I'm sitting at this computer while the Polka Hour is playing on the radio, figuring out how to craft a clever rant, or at least just a rant that communicates my ire against the State.

On Tuesday afternoon I received an email from my inspector that began, "We are concerned..."  Nothing good ever comes from a State agency being concerned about anything.  Well, in this case, their concern consisted of a need for me to demonstrate the percent of water retained in the whole chickens after they go through the ice bath.

"No problem," says I, "I've got a scale and will simply weigh the birds before they go in and then after they come out."

"That's exactly what you need to do, but the scale must be certified and registered with the State."

That would have been a great thing to tell me a couple of weeks ago, not 36 hours before my customers are supposed to arrive.

"If you don't have one, you can still butcher, we'll just have to condemn the birds and they will have to be destroyed."

I spent the next 36 hours trying to navigate the system of getting a scale registered and certified with the State.  It isn't pretty.  First, you must fill out Form RWM-700 and pay an application fee of, in my case, $35 for one year.  Then you must contact a third party contractor licensed by the State to certify that your scales are indeed accurate. Depending on who you find, this fee can run anywhere from $100-$1000.  Then after the scale has been certified as accurate you must request a Weights and Measures bureaucrat to come out and put a sticker on the scale.  Right now that is a 2 month waiting list.  You may not take the scale to them, and the sticker that is there to "protect the consumer" cannot be mailed to you.

To top it off, the Weights and Measures division doesn't actually think that they should be certifying my scale, since it isn't going to be used to determine price, but a non-monetary measurement.  The meat inspectors disagree.  This question has to now be resolved at the level of the State capital.

All of this came about because on January 9, 2001, the US Department of Agriculture adopted by fiat a new regulation because they were concerned that, "Without published limits on retained water, FSIS cannot adequately protect consumers from adulteration and misbranding due to excessive retained water in whole birds."

So there you have it, folks, this is all about you and the Federal government's concern for your safety and protection.  Nevermind the income lost to my family, nor the woman who will now miss the farmer's market she finally got into, nor the two employees that I told on Thursday morning, they wouldn't be needed.

Guess what, though, the inspector still showed up and spent 4 hours working on paperwork in my shop.  I've spent a total of 6 hours working under State inspection, and he's spent a total now of 10 hours doing paperwork for my plant.  Something seems a little off.

The next time you wonder why the food at the local farmers' market is so much more expensive than the grocery store, please remember that not all costs are visible on a sticker.

Time to milk the cow...til next time.